Doula Hula

I have decided to hire a doula for this birth.

First let me explain a few things. I consider myself moderate on the "granola" scale. I am kind of a blend of mainstream and granola. Though my midwives suggested a doula for my last birth, I felt that hiring a doula was probably best left to those women who are further down on the granola scale; the ones that don't shave their legs and wear patchouli oil and dreadlocks. I wanted a natural birth experience, but I thought of a doula as being unnecessary in achieving that.

I did have a natural birth experience last time without a doula. And as a veteran of natural childbirth, I now have a different perspective. As I grow closer to giving birth again and begin to contemplate the kind of birth experience I want this time, I believe having a doula attend my birth will help me have an even more fulfilling and rewarding natural birth experience.

A huge component of me making this decision is becoming more aware of the maternity care crisis that spans nationally as well as locally. Here in Philadelphia, maternity wards are closing faster than you can sneeze, and we are losing our best doctors because of insurance issues. I am fortunate to have happened upon one of the only practices in the city that employs both doctors and midwives. A rarity both in this country as well as my region. Doctors and midwives approach childbirth differently and it is uncommon to find them working closely together. I feel that the emphasis in this country is on good prenatal care and a safe and convenient birth. But what gets left in the dust is the actual labor support. Women are largely left on their own to cope with it. The labor "support" offered in most hospitals is the epidural. Beyond that, there is little a typical medical staff will or can do to help support a woman psychologically, emotionally and physically through labor if she chooses not to have a medicated birth.

Even though I will be delivering with the midwives in my OB practice, because of the lack of maternity care in the city due to maternity ward closings, the hospitals and birthing centers are overbooked, crowded and swamped. And the midwives and doctors are not able to give as much individual care to their patients as before.

This is where a doula will come in handy. She fills that gap. She will be the labor support that is so critically needed. Traditionally, since ancient times, labor support was provided by the other women of the family or the community. It is only with the advent of hospitalized births that the place of the "doula" or labor support has fallen through the cracks.

The only choice left for me to face now is who to pick! I have already met some remarkable women who I would trust completely to attend my birth and do everything in their power to ensure I have the birth experience I am aiming for. I look forward to reporting on my experience when it is all said and done!

Take 2...

Well I'm back yet again to try to revive this thing. Nevermind the excuses for letting it lapse. Let's proceed with the updates: I am pregnant again. It is another boy. I am on bedrest again. Pregnancy de ja vu maybe? But this time around has been considerably less stressful, though slightly more challenging in regards to logistics since we have had to arrange care for Will. But some fabulous family members have come to our aid. What a lucky lad that Will is!

So upon learning the gender of my most recent reproductive efforts, I realized I will still get to maintain my reign as the sole female representative in my household. That is to say quite simply, I am still Queen. A very nice realization indeed.

Also, Will is now almost 3. Well, he is maybe 2 and three-quarters. Here he is at Halloween. Quite obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine, I tell you. He is a typical 2-year-old in many ways. And not-so-typical in others. He is amazingly kind and gentle and tender towards others. Something which gives me such joy to observe. He loves to sing, and snuggle, and shout, and dance, and wrestle, and eat, and read, and play with trains. Not a bad resume. I consider the fact that we decided to have another a child a great compliment to him. It would be nice if he could see it this way too. Especially when he and his brother are fighting over toys.

Anyway, since I am on bedrest with a laptop at my disposal over the next 5 weeks (thank you Kathryn!), I am sure I will be able to update more frequently. So I will sign off here and be back with more ramblings later.

Should all acquaintance be forgot...

Well, I think its time for me to dust this thing off and start back up again. My son is ever so much older now than he was when my writing came to a grinding halt. A whole, what, five months older! He will be 10 months old in 3 days. Lord!

Brief updates in his development: he is almost standing on his own--still a little insecure to try it by himself; calling out to "Emma" (we still have yet to determine who Emma might be); will laugh at your jokes if he sees that you are laughing (not unlike the emphatic laughter of someone who does not get the punchline but feels that it must appear that he has); growing thicker wisps of hair, though still appearing overall to be bald; pushed through three teeth--one on top, two on bottom; is looking more and more like a little boy every day.

We had our first Christmas. Santa was very generous to him considering that he wouldn't know Santa from a hole in the wall. And tomorrow he will step forth into a brand new year! The first of many more to come.

And now if you will excuse me. Emma is being called for again and it seems to please him when I respond to her name.

Foot in mouth

My super-gifted child has achieved a feat that he has been working towards for almost 3 weeks now. Yes, its true. He has now managed to insert his foot into his mouth.

Houdini

You see these fingers mom?? I am going to make them disappear before your eyes....




Tah dah!!

"I just crush a lot..."

So I think I have a crush...on my ENTIRE Ob/Gyn practice. I feel like a junior high school girl around the class cutie every time I have to go in for a visit. I do a lot of blushing and a lot of smiling and a lot of batting of the eyelashes. It is guaranteed that I will see someone who knows me and my story very well, since every single one of the drs. and midwives visited me while I was in the hospital.

Yesterday I did see one of my favorite drs. During my visit, Will started fussing. While we were talking, my dr. just reached down and picked Will up out of his carrier and held him in the football hold while we chatted. Afterwards, he told me he'd take Will with him out of the room while I got myself together.

I just love that my doctors feel so comfortable with me and so connected to Will because they all had a hand in saving him.

Baby Love

Sometimes I can't believe I'm a mom. In some ways I still feel like I'm 18 and babysitting. I look at Will and think, "There is no way that I could have produced a human being." I feel like his mom is going to come at the end of the day to pick him up. Its just so surreal to think that I am somebody's mother; I am the one that this baby wants when he cries; I am the one who provides him with food and nourishment; I am the one that his eyes light up for when he sees me walk into a room. Me. Me. Its just so amazing and so humbling. The bewildering thing is that I probably need him more than he needs me...

"The Cheese Stands (or Sits) Alone..."

talking head

My son is now talking. I believe his first word was "rrlllnnhh" (that's a direct quote). We have nice conversations sometimes, but secretly I feel a little stiffed. He clearly prefers chatting up the ceiling fan. And also the wall. And besides,when he's talking to me I think he's trying to tell me to stop kissing him so much because I am embarrassing him.

But I can't complain. I get the best smiles from him. They are the smiles of recognition, the smiles that say "Hey! I know that lady! Hmm, I suddenly feel rather hungry...". And sometimes he just stares. Long enough that I begin to wonder if I have something in my teeth or a beard hair growing out of my chin.

Now if I could just capture that elusive smile on camera...

Sanity reclaimed.

I have discovered the magic of "routine." For the first five weeks of Will's life, sleep was a free-for-all, not to mention a precious and scarce commodity. A few nights ago, I decided to try out a new routine. It goes something like this: put on white noise cd, wrap in swaddle blanket, nurse, burp, rock for 5 mins, place in crib. Voila! Evenings have now been reclaimed as "me" time, or "me and Brian" time. Its fabulous!

Sling shots.

Paparazzi!

Can I help you??



What do you want...?


Sheesh lady, get that thing out of my face!!

First Smile!

will gave me his first smile last night! of course he waited till the middle of the night after a poopy diaper change and right before i plopped him onto my boob. normally when he is about to get boob he gets so excited that his head bops back and forth in an effort to get it into his mouth as quickly as possible. but he actually STOPPED in the middle of the head-bopping, looked up at me and gave me a big grin before chomping down. even in my sleep-deprived stupor my heart just melted! i am so in love with my little boy....

The dreaded eyes...

You know that scene in the Neverending Story where Atreyu approaches the Sphinx Gate and has to make it through before the sphinxes open their eyes and shoot light daggers from their eyes into his head? And you know how you sit there on the edge of your seat, holding your breath and praying he makes it through?



Well, that's pretty much how I feel after I have spent more than an hour trying to get my kid to sleep. As I slowly and breathlessly try to creep away from his side after putting him down, my heart palpitates and my palms sweat with terror if even an eyelid flutters...

Hot Mama!

So the other day I was cruising along on the highway (95N to be specific). Traffic got kind of slow for a small stretch, but I was enjoying the ride with the windows down since it was a warm spring day, as I listened to some good hip-hop tunes. The next thing I know a pick-up truck with three guys in it had pulled up along side me in the next lane over. The guys were all hooting and hollering and honking their horn at me for a few seconds. Then, I noticed they did a double-take and got suddenly silent as they became aware of the fact that there was an infant riding in my back seat. They looked rather bewildered. What, just because I have a baby I can't listen to hip-hop? I just laughed and sped ahead of them thinking, "That's right! I'm four weeks post-partum. What do you make of THAT?!"

Getting my groove back.

So little by little I have been getting back out into the world with a baby in tow. First to the OB's office, then the pediatrician, then Babies R Us...And today I actually went on a lunch date! So it takes a little more forethought and planning when bringing an infant along to a chic little French restaurant in one of Philly's yuppiest of neighborhoods. But I managed. And my little man was a cherub! He slept most of the time. I think I am getting the hang of this "hip, modern mom" thing. Baby in one hand, and a mocha latte in the other...

A look back

I just re-read my first blog entry where I prophecied how my birthing experience would go. Here's what I said:

"I envisioned myself giving birth as charmingly as Kimberly Williams (Father of the Bride, part 2), Julianne Moore (Nine Months) and of course Jennifer Aniston as Rachel Green. It was a nice thought, but somehow I think my birthing experience will probably be more reminiscent of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre with me looking like Charlize Theron in Monster."

Here's a look at the prophecy's fulfillment...


And I might add that my sister and Brian both commented on how the amount of blood on the floor and walls looked like a horror movie.

Charlize? Is that you??

Photos

Will with Aunt Kathryn


Hanging out with daddy


My beautiful baby boy


Our second "real" bath. Mean daddy took a picture when Will was pretty mad...






At grandma's house

We're back!!

We are finally back from pregnancy-land, thank God! And we have returned with our bundle of joy in tow. Tune in regularly for stories and pictures of our newest addition.





Welcome to the world, William Elyas Schweizer!
Born March 4, 1:39 a.m.
8lbs 1 oz, 21 inches.

23 weeks 2 days


Okay, so its not the prettiest picture in the world. Believe it or not I actually fixed myself up a little for the photo so I didn't so closely resemble a pregnant zombie. But hey, daily bedrest + pregnancy does not produce the most attractive specimens.

So I am starting to be convinced that my son is rearranging furniture in my uterus. I find it absolutely unfathomable that there are stories out there of women who are pregnant and don't know it until they are in labor. If I didn't know I was pregnant, I would think that an alien had temporarily borrowed my womb to spawn itself and was preparing to erupt out of my navel. All I know is that those women who supposedly don't know they are with child must have some terrifying moments as their child practices kickboxing against their insides.